Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The most polite non-english countries of the world

I thought about the previous entry and how you could use it to improve your understanding of different cultures, in the way that the translation would reflect some of the mentality of the culture in question.

The theory: If you take a simple phrase commonly used by a native english speaker, say, F*ck off and die!, then translate it to another language on babelfish and then back again you will see a gradient of politeness in the translations. If you then extrapolate that phrase to include all cultural, historical, religious, political and social aspects of this country/language you can do an easy-to-follow ranking of who are the bastard and who are the noblesse obliges' of the world.

So here it is, the complete list* of the most polite non-english countries of the world.

The Complete List TM

11. Fuck off die! - the Russians. The most bastardly non-english speaking nation of the world. Even more efficient than the original.


10. You break and die! - the French. Not surprisingly the French fight for the last spot in this event. They tried to put in some severe personal injuries before actually deceasing but didn't make it all the way this time since they lost some on sexual offense.

9. Fuck far and cube! - the Greek. Leaning back on their ancient philosophical heritage they feel they can maintain a "better than the rest"- attitude, even trying to put in some mathematical terminology to make the rest of us feel ignorant. Fuck far is even more offensive, not to say imaginative, than the original, but the tempo and catchiness of the phrase is not quite as good as the French or Russian.

8. Keep coming out, die! - the Japanese. Old habits die hard. The emperor's teaching of a superior Japan just keeps coming.

7. Fuck gone and matrix! - The Dutch. I agree with the Matrix, especially the sequels. I haven't seen Gone yet so I can't comment on it, but the Dutch cleverly divert the comment towards Hollywood thus de-personalizes any offense the subjectee may feel. It does contain the word "fuck" though, so it really can't be considered for a top spot on the polite side.

6. Throws away and die! - the Koreans. Now we're beginning to see some real progress on the polite side. This is a good attempt, the Koreans are up and coming and will surely reach top three in a couple of years unless Kim Jong Il screws it up.

5. Swept and dice outside! - the Italians. Clearly Berlusconi's fall from the political throne did miracles for the habitually spiteful Italians. They've cleaned up the remark nicely. The only set back is a bit of gambling, which still might be offensive, if only to right-wing christians.

4. Boils and dies! - the Chinese. This, which at first glance may seem a bit aggressive, is clearly colored from a nation who has the largest cuisine in the world. A competent and adroit performance by the Chinese leaving them just outside top-three.

3. Taken and dice dull! - the Spanish. It was a tight run with the Chinese. "Taken" still has som sexual tension to it, but the Spaniards make a last minute save with the "dull" in the the end. Immensly boring, but not all games are won on brilliant plays. Skillful tactical display from Spain.

2. Bumsen away and cubes! - the Germans. Maybe it was the only the World Cup, or maybe the Germans really have become this polite. Bumsen away sounds more what you'd contently do after a long night at the Bierhűtte. They make a verbal Picasso and remove all intelligable meaning to the expression, which gives them the runner-up position of "The most polite non-english country of the world"

1. It is gone to foder and it is died! - the Portuguese. What can I say. Pure Genius. The recipe: Take one expression. Remove all foul language. Add piece of gibberish. Add "its" generously to remove any tingy taste. Turn it over, it's done.


/J.

*The list of course being limited to the languages that appear on babelfish.

19 comments:

secret wombat said...

Excellent work. I believe you've discovered a whole new field of anthropology.

secret wombat said...

...and I see you've got yerself a statistics program - but you're keeping your cards to your chest. VERY interesting...

Lone Gopher said...

Since I'm HIGHLY TECHNICALLY SKILLED I prefer to have my statistics this way. Is there options or what?
/J.

secret wombat said...

yeah - you can have it displayed, like at the bottom of mine... nice use of capitals - I am impressed.

Lone Gopher said...

I do have it displayed. (something like 5% of your hit count (of which half would be me (of which half would be me checking if if that damn counter shows or not))). I preferred the grey-over-white with a slightly bigger format instead of the white-on-black mediumsized, on account of my inherited Scandinavian inclination towards dull aesthetics, but otherwise I'd say it's the same. You can take full credit for everything I've learned about using capitol letters to make the irony/joke/understatement go through. Two fingers on the brim for you.
/J.

Lone Gopher said...

...the capital letters on the other hand...
Sorry.
/J.

Anonymous said...

Amiable fill someone in on and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you as your information.

Anonymous said...

I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting of [b]Female use of Viagra[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Female use of Viagra[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic [url=http://viagra.opuskali.ru]Viagra Super Active[/url] is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b]buy viagra new york
viagra alternative new drugs
uk viagra supplier
viagra interaction clonidine hcl
viagra meltabs melt tabs
buy viagra in spain
roy d mercer dog viagra
[/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

Anonymous said...

pros and cons of internet dating http://loveepicentre.com/testimonials.php newest personal adult dating site

Anonymous said...

seeley's anatomy physiology 9th edition ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/Why-Your-Life-Sucks/p166164/ operaciones ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/The-Handbook-of-Emotional-Intelligence-The-Theory-and-Practice-of-Development-Evaluation-Education-and-Application-At-Home-School-and-in-the-at-Home-School-and-in-the-Workplace/p193463/]dash mount ebook holder[/url] karmasutra ebook

Anonymous said...

sony ebook 505 reviews http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Solutions-for-Families-A-Guide-for-Building-and-Strengthening-Relationships-at-Home/p166201/ 70 291 sybex ebook pdf [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/de/Gesch-ft-and-Kulture/c1121/?page=5]ebook starthilfe[/url] publish ebook for free

Anonymous said...

math encyclopedia ebook by leonard bruno http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/Louis-R-D-Abramo/m77764/ ebook textbook [url=http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/it/Educazione/c1163/]booknook rescue josh mcguire ebook[/url] ebook of wilcom software
[url=http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/Il-Cammino-di-Santiago/p155529/][img]http://audiobooksworld.co.uk/image/1.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

seo promotion strategy search software engine http://buyoem.co.uk/de/product-36810/CSoftLab-C-Organizer-Professional-4-5 winftp download software winftp [url=http://buyoem.co.uk/product-36664/Easy-Yahoo-Maps-Downloader-5-0]game software warcraft[/url] parallel port controller software
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/category-4/Software-Plugins?page=16]Software Plugins - Cheap Legal OEM Software, Software Sale, Download OEM[/url] blue ray burn software
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/product-10218/SpyBlocker-9-0][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/4.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

biotracker lims software http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/fr/category-200-203/Graphiques-et-Publication?page=4 best file move software [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/es/category-11/Herramientas-de-sistema?page=5]accounting law office software trust[/url] media special effects software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-37240/PCThrust-1-1]PCThrust 1.1 - Software Store[/url] p i diagram software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/it/product-37347/Ultra-Video-Joiner-4-5][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/4.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/tretinoin-cream-0-025-.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/10.jpg[/img][/url]
cheap pharmacy zenegra http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/kamasutra-dotted-condoms.htm omnicare pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/vantin.htm]nj state pharmacy laws[/url]
royers pharmacy http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/lotensin.htm caremark specialty pharmacy ma [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/rocaltrol.htm]rocaltrol[/url]
pharmacy university of monroe http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/biaxin.htm how to rob a pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/protonix.htm]tricare mailorder pharmacy[/url]
pharmacy assistant school in orlando fl http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/catalogue/n.htm mexican internet pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/bactrim.htm]bactrim[/url]

Anonymous said...

I don't even know how I stopped up here, but I thought this put up was great. I do not know who you'rе howeveг definitely yοu're going to a famous blogger in case you aren't already.
Cheeгs!

Feеl frее to suгf to my web-site:
do hcg drops work

Anonymous said...

100 free jewish dating [url=http://freeinternetdating.info/meet/meet-and-fuckgame]meet and fuckgame[/url] dating services milwaukee
nigerian dating scam info http://freeinternetdating.info/singles/singles-cruises-from-vancopuver carbon dating contreversy
fender pro junior dating [url=http://freeinternetdating.info/marriage/plural-marriage-laws-of-oregon]dating in new york[/url] dating a catholic military guy

Anonymous said...

yahoo free dating http://loveepicentre.com/success_stories/ guys code on dating
dating friendship internet love online single [url=http://loveepicentre.com]christian dating sites in arkansas[/url] older women younger men dating tips
saint paul couples dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/map/]successful dating site[/url] any free sex dating sites [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/cosmo2010/]cosmo2010[/url] bra and panties dating service