Thursday, July 27, 2006

Photogénique

















I'm not a photogénique person. All the Filipinos I know are. It doesn't matter if they look like Jabba the Hut in real life, on the pictures they look great. They know what their best side and angle is, how to smile, how to pose. And suddenly Jabba is transformed into a well-built man in his late thirties or a stunning model-wannabe. (I don't know any Filipinos who look like Jabba the Hut, Filipinos are generally Really Beautiful, not only in pictures. The point is if Jabba was Filipino, I'm sure he'd look good in pictures too.)

I don't know any of that. I more on the opposite, photomorónique (or maybe pictgrotesque), side. I tend not to smile since I use snus (little Swedish tobacco bags that you put under your lip). It keeps you sane, but it makes you look like somebody just hit you if you try to smile. Since I'm taller than most I tend to lean in over the other persons, making me look like I'm about to fall over. If there's no other persons in the picture I tend to lean anyway, just out of habit. I also got a terrible posture, which either looks bad, or, if I try to correct it, looks like someone put a stick up my ass. Which, of course, looks bad.

Basically, I got three modes:
1. Stupid
2. Tired
3. Intoxicated

99% of all pictures of shows at least one of these modes. (And, to be honest, pictures of me are usually taken when I´m at mode 2 and 3, which makes me 1, but anyway. The modes show at nice family outings at the beach too, where I don't drink. Too heavily.) Most of the time they all blend together making me look like a sleepy idiot on heroin.

It´s not that bad though, it kind of keeps your expectations on a healthy level:
- How did the pictures come out?
- You look like a retard!
- Great, I don't look sleepy or drunk!

You put a nice little photoalbum together to show your relatives:
- Here´s a nice on of me….
- You look like you just drank three bottles of Jack Daniels!
- Yeah, I know, I'm thinking of putting it next to the family picture by the computer (where I incidentally look stupid and tired, but not drunk.)

Just for balance.


/J.

2 comments:

greg said...

If you were stupid, your blog would be so good and if you were tired you wouldn't have the energy to write so much.

SO YOU MUST BE DRUNK as a bloody skunk! Rock on!

Lone Gopher said...

Cheers!

/J.