To make matters more clear, these are my ankles. The right one looks so smooth it reminds me of a Hillary Clinton joke*. On the left the bones seem to be bursting through the skin any moment.
To make matters more gross, here is the villain in the drama. It started out a tiny black spot, grew a ring, added some height and then just went mad.
After this rather painful but otherwise harmless condition (the boil was eating away at my periosteum) the entire leg swelled up, so today I went to the doctor, who for the second time emptied it for me (first one I did myself). In the category "most disgusting things I have seen coming out of my body" it ranks pretty high. Thank godness the eyes and arse are on opposite sides of the body.
Then he cleaned it up again and prescribed some penicillin. He didn't say it out loud, but I could see it in his eyes that the prescription was for the Jean-Claude Van Damme of antibiotics. To prove my theory I kept the presription in my wallet and just asked for the "short belgian" penicillin when I got to the pharmacy, and they served me right up. So now I'm back on track, and the pain is not so bad unless I sit down or get up or stand up or lie down.
Namely "Hillary, are those your ankles or did you just take a dump in your socks?". (Jon Stewart was trying to prove that the presidential candidates had not yet stepped over the line in attacking each other. The same segment contained "Obama, you smoke so much your lungs are the only authentically black thing about you")