Friday, January 26, 2007

Hope sprains eternal

So, I’m out of a job again, and moping about it.
The last couple of days I’ve been hooked on job sites, international and national. The international are clearly more interesting – but I seem to have chosen the wrong career to be a player on that circuit.

The national are a bit more discouraging careerwise, (Sure, I could be a English tutor for 2$ an hour, but it wouldn’t cover my transport cost of going in to Manila) but the do offer a smile now and then.

Here are some of the positions offered:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
13. - Technical Writter(Proficient in Adobe Framemaker)

-Graduate of any IT related course -at least 1 yr experience as a technical writter -Proficient with Adobe PageMaker - Very Good oral and written English
Location: Makati - Manila Salary: 20k-35k

They do need one, don’t they?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
39. - Guidance Head

BS/AB Psychology graduate; with MA units; effective counseling skills; 3-5 yrs exp. as Head
Location: Molino 3, Bacoor - Cavite Salary: Upon Interview Date: 16 January 2007


My head has 32 years of experience, are you sure I need a psych grad as well?


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14. - Mixed Signal Equipment Engineering Engineer

REQUIREMENTS: Candidate must possess at least a Bachelor's/College Degree in Engineering (EE/ECE) or equivalent. Knowledgeable in Basic Circuit Analysis, Test Methodology, and Basic Test Equipment Maintenance. Proficient in Test Debugging, Test Equipment Operation, Handler and Prober Operations, Use of Test Instruments, Word Processing and Spreadsheet, and Unix Environment. Willing to relocate to Laguna Location: Calamba - Laguna Salary: negotiable Date: 5 January 2007

OK, I’m not an engineer, but I’ve lived in the Philippines for over a year, should make me as good with mixed signals as anyone. Too bad, I hear engineering engineers are the best (as opposed to the low-life non-engineering engineers)


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


4. Ilustrator
Those who can provide illustration and image for the children's English book
Location: Makati - Manila Salary: negotiable Date: 13 January 2007

Three words. ”With a melon!?”.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6. House Parents
Couple to work together as house parents for former street children and orphans in a cottage at the South Campus of Christians' Haven. Man and wife must be dedicated, active, born again Christians.
Location: Manticao/Northern Mindanao - Near Iligan City - Misamis Oriental Salary: 7K + 5K/month Date: 28 December 2006


Well, as long as I don’t have to actually gice birth to it…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

48. Part-time Tutor for Computer
We are looking for professional who would like to teach the following computer applications: 1. Autocad 2. Adobe Photoshop 3. Visual Basic 4. C++ 5. Corel Draw Interested applicants may send their resume via email : xxxxxx_xxx@xxxxx.xxx
Location: Paranaque - Manila Salary: negotiable Date: 18 January 2007


Thanks, but no thanks. I was a teacher once and had an Abobe Photoshop in my class. I can’t teach those bastards anything.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

74. - Native Speaker(part time or full time)
Qualifications: 1. Preferably with teaching experience 2. Hard-working and dedicated 3. Competent to train ESL Teachers 4. Punctual and with high sense of responsibility
Location: Cebu City - Cebu Salary: very competitive Date: 13 January 2007

If it only hadn’t been in Cebu. I speak native, like, fluently…

/J.




3 comments:

Greg said...

Have you thought about making puppets?

secret wombat said...

Is first job 25-30K dollars per year or pesos per month? Hopefully pesos; you don;t want to get out of your depth here.

Lone Gopher said...

Greg - I think I'll steal the puppet idea but make Mr Lemonhead-puppets instead.

SW - I figured they would just pay me K's, no matter, I turned it down since my writting is terrible anyway.

/J.